Freaky Friday
by estrafalaria103
Summary: Sam and Dean swap bodies. . .but how? And what happens when Bobby decides to upgrade his crippled body? And when Castiel somehow gets dragged in things REALLY get weird. . .Add in a demon, two hot bartenders, late night chats, and this is not a usual case
1. Chapter 1

"What?"

Bobby was cranky when he opened the door to the Winchester boys. All he'd gotten was a panicked-sounding voicemail from Dean –

"Bobby! We really need your help. I don't know. . .something extremely strange is going on. Cas isn't coming when Dean calls him, and. . .well, we're coming to see you."

--and then nothing for fourteen hours straight. So he'd been stuck in near-panic mode himself for a day. After all, Dean _never_ sounded panicked. The more scared he was, the more taciturn he became. And what was with the third person thing?

They certainly looked. . .strange. . .standing on his doorstep. Dean was hunched over, hands in his pockets, a strange pout on his face. And Sam. . .Sam was lounging back, restlessly shifting feet, whistling. . ._whistling_. _Sam_.

"All right, idjits, how bad is it?" Bobby asked. He didn't move from his position guarding the door. The damn fools were going to tell him what was going on before he'd let them in his house, that was for sure.

"Bobby!" Sam turned, his face lighting up in a broad, shit-eating grin. Dean continued to pout. "Long time, no see! How's it hanging?"

"Oh. My. God."

"What? Bobby? Is something wrong?" Dean leaned forward, green eyes wide and concerned. Sam, meanwhile, went instantly tense, eyes flinting.

"Is there a demon here?"

"Oh. My God." Bobby pulled off his hat, ran a hand through what little hair he had left. "You switched bodies."

Both boys stared at him, slack-jawed in astonishment. Sam – no, _Deans_ – jaw nearly touched the ground, while Sam scrunched up his face.

"How did you know?"

Bobby sighed and wheeled back, letting them into the room. "Practically helped raise you two, didn't I?" he asked gruffly. "I know my boys, even when they're in different. . .meat suits. . ."

"Hey!" Dean turned around, the broad grin looking strange on Sam's features. "Look at that! Sam, you're a meat-suit! Dude. . .you're like a Dean condom!"

Sam just glared at him. "What does that make you, _dude_?"

"Oh. . ." Dean shuffled away awkwardly, banging his head on the mantle as he walked away. "Dammit!" he cursed before disappearing from sight. Bobby sighed again.

"All right, Sam. Tell me everything. How did it happen?"

"That's kind of the problem," Sam said. "We're not sure. We just went to bed, and then when we woke up. . ."

"I was stuck in the Ginormatron's body!" Dean yelled back. "Sammy, look! I can totally touch the ceiling in here! I've always wanted to do that!"

"It's Sam. . ." the younger brother growled. Bobby, meanwhile, listened for the inevitable. The ceiling in the den was a _very_ unstable stucco, so any minute. . .

"Ow!" Dean reappeared a minute later, a fine white dust stuck in Sam's long hair. "Uh. . .sorry, Bobby. . ."

"Well, what did the angel say?" Bobby decided to focus his attention on the less dumb-ass of the Winchesters.

"We haven't been able to get a hold of him," Sam sighed. "Dean's been trying, but. . .not answer."

They really were idiots. Bobby glared at Sam.

"Take off your shirt, boy," he said.

"What?" Sam gaped at him, while Dean held up his hands.

"Wow, Bobby, down boy! Just because my beautiful body is defenseless doesn't mean. . ."

"Just take it off," Bobby growled. With an uncertain look, Sam pulled the black shirt over his head.

"I don't get it. . ."

Bobby pointed at his shoulder, the clear palm print on skin. "You're the one linked to the angels, now, boy," Bobby said. "You have to call him."

"Oh," Sam looked uncomfortable. "I've never. . .um. . .Dean usually. . ."

"Dude, it's not hard," Dean said, flipping his cell phone in Sam's direction. "He's number two on speed dial."

"Who's number one?" Sam asked curiously.

"Bobby, of course!" Dean said. Despite the shit-eating grin (again! Bobby was beginning to think that Dean was enjoying the change in circumstances) he was rather touched.

"Hey, Castiel," Sam said. A moment later there was a whooshing sound, and the angel stood directly in front of Sam. Bobby was impressed. Freak could move.

"Dean, what is wrong?" Castiel leaned in close to Sam's face. Bobby winced a little. No wonder Dean was always bitching about personal space. Castiel's gaze was intense, and Sam backed up a step.

"You are not Dean," Castiel said. In the corner, Dean let out a delicate cough. When the angel changed his gaze, he grinned, lifted up his arms.

"Hey, Cas, how's it hanging?"

The angel cocked his head, a confused expression on his face. He walked with deliberate steps over to his. . .his what? Bobby wasn't exactly sure what they were to each other. He reached out a hand, touched Dean's shoulder. Dean laughed.

"Check it out, Cas, you can barely reach!" Dean grinned at his brother. "Sammy, boy! You are soooooooo tall!"

"I know, Dean," Sam sat down in a chair.

"I do not understand," Castiel said. "Samuel and Dean. . .why have you chosen to exchange forms? Are you trying to confuse Lucifer?"

"No," Sam said, at the same moment that Dean exclaimed "hey, would that work?"

"No," Bobby and Castiel said at the same time. Bobby sighed. "The devil isn't interested in _you_, Sam. He just wants your body." Dean snicked. Bobby rolled his eyes. Immature idiot.

"Though this could well still be one of Lucifer's plots," Castiel said thoughtfully. "After all. . .with their backgrounds, Samuel is far more susceptible to Heaven. . ."

"And Dean to Hell," Bobby nodded his head. "I should of thought of that. Dammit."

"We have to rectify this." Castiel said.

"Definitely," Sam moaned into his hands.

"Think back," Bobby ordered. "What did you do the night before the change?"

"Nothing," Sam said in exasperation. "We fought over what to watch on tv. We got a few drinks. We went to bed."

Bobby ground his teeth together in frustration. There had to be a trigger, of course. The knuckleheads were just too dense to find it. Nothing unusual there. . .they usually couldn't find a clue unless it was attached to some kind of supernatural death. No ability to recognize things ahead of a gruesome end. If only he'd been there.

"I have an idea," Castiel said, and before anyone could protest, he'd reached out and grabbed Dean's wrist, and gently touched two fingers to Bobby's head.

Oh shiiiiii the old hunter thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Um. . .well. . .this was meant to just be a humorous drabble, but it's kind of exploded. Probably will last about seven chapters. And somehow it's morphing into a romance story. . .weird. . .anyway, reviews are always appreciated! And don't worry, no love with the two OCs. . .they exist merely to advance the plot, such as it is. Reviews are always appreciated! Enjoy!**

Those were two fine-looking men, Eliza thought. Almost unconsciously her tongue darted out, wetted brightly painted lips. Two damn fine-looking men indeed. All rough and tumble, just the way she liked them. Torn jeans, haunted eyes, and enough layers to make foreplay interesting.

"God, Eliza, get a grip," Rose threw a washcloth at her. "The bar's disgusting, wipe it down, would you?"

"Rather not," Eliza said. She never dropped her eyes from the two tall drinks of water. She did, however, drop the washcloth. "We should never leave clients thirsty," she said. Behind her, she could hear Rose groaning.

Which one to take home? Somehow, Eliza felt that they wouldn't be in for a threesome. The way their bodies leaned in toward one another, the familiarity. . .they were either brothers, or lovers. She was praying for the first. They didn't _look_ gay, she thought, a little doubtful now. Still, no time to back out now.

She decided on the taller one. She was pretty tall herself, so she normally had to just take what she could get, but if she was getting the choice. . .besides, he clearly had the better body, which shoulder and a chest just bursting their way out of that button-down. He seemed less dirty, too.

"Hey, boys," she drawled, leaning down and squishing her arms together, giving them the best view of her cleavage she could. Of course, ever since that operation, any view had been pretty damn good. Best $2,000 she'd ever spent. "Can I get you something from the bar?"

"Got any local brews?" the short one asked. He smiled up at her, teeth gleaming white even in the dim lighting of the bar. Holy shit, Eliza thought. Green eyes – real green, not that freaky lime that came with contacts, or the overly infested brown of most hazel eyes. She hated him a little bit. However, a job was a job, and if she was going to get the Jolly Green Giant, she might have to butter up Eyelashes a bit. Before she could list more than one, however, he'd cut her off. "Just send over a pint of whatever's best," he said.

"No problem," Eliza said, all sugar and honey, before turning to the other one. "What about you, handsome?"

He pouted. The thing actually pouted! Eliza was up standing quicker than she'd ever known she could move. What kind of a man pouted? Seriously?

"I'll just have some water," he said, and slumped down in his chair. Well, screw him, then. Eliza threw long black hair over her shoulder (the extensions had been the second-best purchase of the year) and winked at Eyelashes before headed back to the bar. Well, for once second best wasn't bad at all.

The glasses were stored above the bar – why that was, Eliza had yet to figure out. She went to grab two, passing Rose on the way.

"What is this?" Rose asked, smacking her gum loudly. "Actually working? Not just flirting?"

"Come on, sugar," Eliza said. "We all know men are even dumber when they're drunk. Drunk, dumb, and just a little dangerous. . .just the way I like them."

"I'd steer clear of those two," Rose said, her tone serious. "I mean it, Eliza. They look like trouble."

They did, she wasn't going to lie. It was why her insides were quivering and her legs felt warm and mushy. She poured the water first,peeking over at them.

"I'm so bored," Rose said. She pulled her necklace out from below her blouse – it was new, given to her by the weirdo, heebie-jeebie drifter who'd blown through a week ago. Eliza didn't know she'd kept it. The necklace itself was creepy, too. . .just a single, strange stone, that changed colors without any apparent reason. She'd assumed it was just a cheap mood stone at first, but then. . .they couldn't figure out how it worked.

"Listen," Rose said. "I'll bring the one guy the water. You want the other one anyway, right?"

"Hells yes," Eliza said. She handed over the glass of water, heading toward the tap to draw up the local beer for Eyelashes. "Help yourself to him. He's sulky."

"Mmm," Rose said, waggling her eyebrows. "Just the way I like them. Tall, dark, and sulky."

* * *

Bobby returned to his body with a snap, his head actually flying backward in reaction. Dean recovered more quickly, batting at Castiel's hands, which still remained in contact with both of them.

"Dude!" Dean yelled. "I told you not to do that!" Bobby shook his head. He felt. . .not so good. Like his insides had been mushed around into a bowl of instant mashed potatoes. His head felt stuffed with cotton.

"See?" Sam said desolately from his couch cushion. "Nothing weird. Just a regular bar, with the regular girls, hitting on Dean."

"Maybe," Castiel said. He looked at Bobby pointedly.

"What?" the older hunter grouched.

"Perhaps. . ."

"Perhaps what?" Bobby groused. "My head hurts. I hate you."

"The one young lady was in possession of an artifact," Castiel said. "A very powerful one. I do not know what powers it possesses, but it might behoove us to go and see."

"All right," Dean said. He straightened up, rubbed his hands briskly together. "A case at a bar. Sounds good."

"Wait," Castiel held up his hand. His face was crumpled into a frown, blue eyes turned inward. "There is something more. Did either of you notice anything strange about the women in the bar?"

"Yeah," Dean said. "She totally tried to go for Sam first."

"No," Castiel sighed, the frown still etched deeply into his face. "There is something very not right here. . .perhaps just Bobby and I should go. You might be safer here."

"No offense, Castiel," Sam said, standing up to his now much-diminished height. "But there's not a whole lot of people in Dean and my corner right now. We're not about to let our entire fan club walk into a trap."

"Right," Dean said. "Plus. Bar. Chick. Case."

Castiel sighed. Bobby did, too.

Idiots.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh. My. God." Each word was accented by a pop of Rose's chewing gum. Eliza looked up after the third snap.

"What is it?"

Rose didn't say a word, just pointed toward the door. Eliza allowed her gaze to follow the finger, to light upon. . .

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed, immediately dropping to her knees behind the bar. "It's them! They're back!"

"Hmmm," Rose murmured. "And they brought another hottie with them. Oh. Ew. And some old guy."

Eliza pulled her body as close to the bar as she could. Rose looked down at her, a confused look on her face now.

"Hey," she said. "I thought you liked them. Like _him_, anyway."

"I did," Eliza hissed. "But Tony's back in town today. I don't want him to get pulverized!"

"Who, Tony?" Raised eyebrow. "Hon, Tony's the size of a dump truck. Nothing's gonna pulverize him."

Eliza sighed. "Not _Tony_. Dean. You know, green eyes, long eyelashes, reflexes of a panther during"

"Alright, thanks, enough," Rose sighed. "Fine. You want me to go serve them?"

"No, it's okay," Eliza said. "Just. . .keep look-out, okay. Tell me when Tony's coming in."

She brushed off her leggings, as unobtrusively as she could. The skintight cotton did a great job showing off her ass, but not such a great job staying clean in the sawdust, shavings, and spilled everything that accumulated behind the bar. She pulled her shirt down, so that the lacy top of her bra could be seen over the top, and her cleavage on best display. She reapplied lipstick, threw back her hair, and stood.

"How do I look?"

"Like you're about to nail some prettyboy behind your 300 pound boyfriends back," Rose said, and gave Eliza a gentle push. "Go get'em, Tiger."

Eliza nodded. She sauntered over toward the four men, who had already taken their seats around a table. "Why, hello, boys, what can I get for you?"

The new one was the first to speak. Dean and Sam were hot, sure, she remembered that, but this one was just so _pretty_, and blue eyes. . .

"We are looking for an amulet that—"

Sam's arm reached out and covered his mouth instantly. He turned to her, a bright, wide smile on his face. The exact opposite of the sulkiness he'd pulled just two days ago. "Just bring us a round of that local thing. It was great."

"Oh, all right," Eliza said, mouth half-turned in a smile. "Turning into a drinker now, eh? See your brother finally had an impact on you." She turned, winked at Dean. He turned a bright red color, and started squirming in his seat. Huh. Weird. He hadn't seemed like the easily embarrassed type.

"I'll be right back with those," she said, and walked away. She was very careful not to click her heels, however. There was something really weird going on with the men. The bar, almost dead at noon, carried sound well, though, and she'd always had excellent hearing.

"Dean, really?" the old man asked. "It's the middle of Armageddon, and you're still getting every cheap bit of ass you can find?"

It took a real effort for Eliza not to turn around, mark over, and shove a stiletto into the geezer's head. She began pulling the beers.

"I do not like this," BlueEyes said. "There is something here. . ."

"Cas, relax," Sam said. He leaned back, broad grin on his face. Eliza's heart started beating a little harder. Damn, maybe she'd been right about him in the first place.

"Let's just find the pendant and get out of here," Dean said, his voice low. Eliza finished with the beers, handed two to Rose, and walked back over. This time she moved closer to Sam, who was clearly in a better mood than Dean.

"Here you go," she purred, leaning down and handing over the pint. Full-on cleavage! Time to make that money go to good use.

"Huh. . .check that out," Sam said with a wink. "Even in the wrong body I'm still the hotter brother."

"Shut up," Dean said.

The old man, meanwhile, and BlueEyes, were more focused on Rose. Which was just weird, really, since Eliza was _clearly_ hotter. Really. Sure, Rose, had the blond hair, and the blue eyes, but she was also fat and short. Well. . .maybe not fat. . .not exactly, but short anyway. And only a size A. So seriously. What gave?

"That is a lovely amulet you are wearing," BlueEyes said. "May I see it?"

"Huh?" Rose's fingers went to the charm around her neck. Clutched it close. "I don't know. . ." she said. "It was a gift."

"Don't do it, Cas," Sam muttered, deep into his drink. BlueEyes just turned and stared at Rose freakishly. All of a sudden, Eliza didn't regret missing out on the attention for once.

"Please," BlueEyes said again. Trembling a little, Rose lifted it from around her neck, and handed it to the man.

"Interesting," he said. The geezer leaned over to examine it, as well, trailing gnarled old fingers over the shifting stone.

"Not just a mood stone?"

"No. It clearly has other properties." BlueEyes turned to Rose again. "May we hold onto this? Overnight? We will return it in the morning."

"I don't know. . ." Rose said, trembling a little. "I mean. . .it was a gift."

"Probably doesn't mean anything," Geezer said. "Looked, we both touched it, and nothing. No badda-bing, badda-boom, no body shifting, nothing."

"We told you," Dean said. "Nothing strange about this place."

BlueEyes handed it back, his gaze still intent on it. Outside a motor choked, revved, choked again, and sputtered. Eliza's gaze jerked to the door. Tony. Shit. Panic.

"Uh. . .listen. . .I gotta go. . ." she choked out, she turned, nearly knocking Sam's beer over in her haste.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked. He looked at the door himself.

"N-nothing," Eliza said. Sam shook his head.

"Yeah, right," he pressed something into her hand. "Listen. You need any help. . .just call that number."

It shouldn't have been reassuring. Really shouldn't have, being as Sam – or rather, Sam's fucking brother, who was still looking pissy in his chair – was the reason she was potentially _in_ trouble.

"Don't worry about it," she said, but she stuck the paper in her bra. It really wasn't anything to worry about. . .as long as she changed and was behind the bar by the time Tony walked in. Which was unlikely.

"Geez, Eliza, I'm so sorry," Rose said. "I'll stall him. Just run."

She did. It took her less than four minutes to run to the bathroom, throw on a pair of baggy jeans and a men's denim shirt. The hair was thrown back into a ponytail. It was scrubbing off the make-up that took the most time. Rose must have been very successful at her diversion, because Tony was just swinging the door open as she made it behind the bar.

"Tony!" she squealed, and ran to meet him, throwing her arms around his thick neck. Behind her she could hear – actually _hear_ – Rose roll her eyes. The men chuckled.

"You sure know how to pick'em," Geezer mumbled.

"Why do you always have to pick the girls with the biggest boyfriends?" Dean asked.

Weirdos, Eliza thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Finally, the plot advances! Finally, we get some more action! Finally, the romance rears its ugly head. . .though I keep it very canon, no worries. Heehee. . .whatever it takes. . .I ALWAYS keep it canon.**

**Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks to those of you who always review -- you are my heroes.**

"I don't get it man," Dean said, shaking his head, as they drove back to the motel. "I mean, you look like me. You sound like me. And you still can't bag the chick."

"Dean, enough," Castiel said from the backseat. "We do not begrudge you your sexual activities, but you need not force them upon the rest of us."

"I don't get it," Bobby said. "That amulet had some power to it. I was sure that was the key. But . . .no change."

"Maybe it was something else," Sam mused. "What else could we be missing."

"Whatever, we're not going to figure out tonight," Dean said, turning in to the motel. "I'm exhausted. We've been driving all day, and I've been stuck in Sam's body all day, and this dude gets hungry. A lot."

"Of course," Castiel said. "He is larger than you. It seems clear that. . ."

"But you never eat!" Dean stopped the car, turned around to look back at his brother. "Seriously! Like, a salad. What gives?"

"It's called self-control," Sam said, climbing out of the car. "You should try it some time."

"Whatever."

The room only had two beds, of course, which necessitated a Rock Paper Scissors fight. Which of course left Dean on the couch. Bobby and Sam were asleep within minutes, loud snores ricocheting out of their mouths, or noses, or wherever snores come from. Dean, on the other hand, kept restlessly shifting around. All six feet of him didn't _quite_ fit on the bed, and he just couldn't get comfortable. And having Castiel just _standing_ there didn't help either.

"Um. . .Cas. . ." Dean said. "What are you doing?"

"I am standing," the angel said. Dean sighed. Always so freakin' literal.

"Yeah, I know that," Dean sighed. "Just. . .why?"

"I always stand here while you are sleeping," Cas said, his head tilted in that funny way he had. Okay. Weird.

"_Why?_"

"You are vulnerable while you are sleeping," Castiel explained. He kneeled down beside Dean, his face, as always, a little too close for comfort. Dean scooted back as much as the couch allowed.

"Oh," he said. "So you guard us. That's not so weird."

Castiel didn't respond, just cocked his head again. Dean cleared his throat.

"So. . .uh. . .what do you do to keep from being bored to death?"

"How would boredom kill me?" Cas asked.

"Never mind. . .what do you do while you stand there and wait?"

"I watch you sleep."

Dean stared incredulously into the angel's eyes. "That's it. Every night, you just pop in and stand there, and watch us sleep? Get a life, Cas!"

"I do not watch both of you," Cas said, still puzzled. "Just you."

"Right. . ."Dean turned away from the angel, definitely uncomfortable now. "Good night, Cas."

"Good night, Dean."

* * * * *

It was a strangled scream that brought him jolting into wakefulness. Dean jerked up, grabbed the knife that he'd placed on the bedstand instead of under his pillow, and was on his feet in seconds. The scream was coming from Bobby, sitting straight up in bed, unmoving, just screaming. Dean ran to his side, found Sam already there.

"Bobby. . .Bobby, what's wrong?" Sam asked. His hands were hovering around Bobby's shoulder, uncertain what to touch, where it wouldn't hurt.

"Nothing's wrong, boys!" Cas said, his voice bright and perky. Dean turned around, only to see Cas patting himself up and down, a bright grin on his face. Dean was pretty sure he'd never seen Cas this happy. He abandoned Bobby, who had finally stopped screaming, and walked over to the angel. He gripped him by the upper arms, turned him face to face.

"Cas, what's wrong," he asked urgently. He tried to catch Cas' eyes, but the blue escaped him, dancing all around the room, and the angel fidgeted in his hands.

"Dean," Bobby said, his voice broken. Sam was on his knees now, hands still hovering. Giving up on Cas for the moment, Dean turned back to the elderly Hunter.

"Yeah?"

"Dean. . ." Bobby peered at him, cocked a head, and stared into his eyes _way_ too seriously. Dean felt something queasy spread through his stomach. He felt like he was going to be sick. The world started going grey at the edges.

"Dean!" Sam caught him before he could fall to the ground. "Dean! What's wrong!" Sam's voice had the edge of panic in it. It was weird, Dean thought, to be peering up at his own face. Body swapping was really weird. . .

"I guess the amulet did it," Dean said, shaking off his brother's arm. Sam just looked at him quizzically. "Bobby and Cas. . ." Dean explained. "They body-swapped, too."

"I can walk!" Cas – er, Bobby – said gleefully, and proceeded to skip across the room.

"Well. . .this is good, right?" Sam asked. "I mean. . .now we know how to fix this. We can get back in our own bodies, right?"

Dean nodded, unsure. Cas looked. . .scared, almost. And maybe it was because he was in Bobby's body. . .maybe Bobby's expression just looked scared. . .but Dean had the definite impression that there was some deeper trouble going on.

It took quite a while to get everyone into the car. Bobby was busy zipping through the parking lot, running as fast as Castiel's legs would carry him. Meanwhile Cas, always confused by human bodies, was having great difficulty maneuvering himself into the Impala.

"I don't get it. . ." Dean grunted as they struggled to shove his legs in. "You're an angel. . .why don't you just fix yourself?"

Cas sighed. "My powers diminish every day," he explained. "And this body did not give me permission. That drastically limits my abilities."

"So because Bobby didn't have the chance to accept you, you lose power," Sam mused. That seems fair."

Dean couldn't argue with that. It did seem fair, and it explained why angels were so picky about getting consent from their vessels – explained why even Lucifer was playing fair and waiting for Sam to say yes. Or . . .now. . .waiting for himself, he supposed.

It didn't take long to get to the bar. It did, however, take a long time to get into it, what with having to chase down the overly energetic Bobby. Sam at least was able to figure out how to reassemble the wheelchair, and eventually they headed in.

* * * * *

"No way." Eliza could hear her friend from the front of the bar. "Eliza!" The yell came a moment later. "Get out here. You're not going to believe this."

She wiped her hands off, and pulled off the denim shirt. Tony had left just ten minutes ago. . .no need to keep looking like a dump. Besides, she got better tips when she looked hot. Now if she could just convince the boss to let her work nights, she'd have it made. . .

"They're back," she said, startled. Sure enough, all four men were back, clustered around the little table. She blushed a little, remembering the number that Sam had given her. Still stuck in her bra. She'd thought about giving a call the night before, try out the second man, as it were, but then Tony had spent the night. . .well. It was good to know they were all around. Tony was out on a run for the next day and a half.

She didn't even bother to ask them what they wanted, just filled four pints and walked over.

"Hello again, boys, just can't get enough of our watering hole, huh?"

"Can't get enough of the staff," Sam said over the rim of his glass. He winked. Dean, meanwhile, didn't seem to mind the flirting at all. Eliza bristled a little. Clearly he was a dick. A night of heaven spent with her should not be so readily forgotten.

"I need to see the amulet," the geezer said, leaning forward. He stared at her, his eyes wide and intent.

"Whoa, Cas, hold back there," Sam said, pressing a hand against the old man's chest. "You're freaking me out, don't do the same to her."

The old man grumbled, but sat back. Eliza looked at them uncertainly. She'd known that amulet was trouble, she'd know it, but Rose seemed to really love it. . .

"I apologize for . . .um. . .him," Sam said, learning forward. He was currently talking to her breasts. That was fine with her. He slowly lifted his eyes. "It's just. . .we were really impressed with that necklace of your friends. And he was thinking his wife might like one, so. . ."

"Okay," Eliza said, melting a little in front of him. "I'll go let Rose know. Just a second."

Rose was not, apparently, weirded out by the encounter from the previous day, and followed Eliza back without any problem. She still didn't want to take the thing off, evidently, because she just leaned forward. Sam reached out and touched it, seeming to stare at it for a long time.

"It really is pretty cool," he said. He gestured across the table. "Sam, take a look. What do you think? Would. . .um. . .Sally like it?"

Eliza blushed. Shit. _That_ was Sam? So. . .when she'd been screaming out Dean. . .she was about to die from embarrassment. Sam, meanwhile, didn't seem to care. He just reached out and touched the amulet, glanced across the table, and nodded.

"Mind letting Cas take a look?" Dean asked. Rose sighed, but walked around and let the old geezer take a look as well. He reached out, barely touching it.

"Bobby?" Dean said intensely. Everyone turned to look at the third man.

"No way," BlueEyes said. "I'm not touching it."

"Bobby!" Sam exclaimed, but BlueEyes just crossed his arms across his chest.

"not doing it. And if you make me, it still won't work. Ask your Wings, over there."

The geezer sighed, and shook his head. "Without consent, the amulet won't matter. We may switch bodies, but I will still lack my abilities."

Eliza and Rose just stood there, listening to the men bicker. Clearly, they were insane. Hot, yes. Sexy, yes. Also crazy. Not, Eliza thought, that she was much of a judge. After all, she was still dating Tony.

"Excuse us a moment," Dean said. He reached over, grabbed BlueEyes by the lapel, and yanked him out the front door, leaving Sam to wheel out the geezer. Eliza glanced over at Rose.

"Those guys are really weird," she said.

"Agreed."


	5. Chapter 5

"Not going to do it," Bobby said for the fiftieth time. "I can finally walk again, boys. I can finally help. I'm not giving that up, not even for your angel buddy."

"Bobby, this isn't just about you," Sam said fiercely. "Castiel's the strongest one of us. We can't afford – the world can't afford – to lose him.

"And Castiel can just find another vessel," Bobby said. He leaned forward. "You can't coerce me. You can't force me. And I already know what's at stake. I'm telling you no."

"He is right," Castiel said. "The amulet will make us switch bodies. But it will not be willed by Robert, and I will still not be. . .myself."

"Listen," Dean said finally. "Enough. Stop the arguing. There's still a case here."

"There is?" Sam looked confused. "I mean. . .we figured it out, right? The amulet?"

"Right, numbnuts, but there's still more," Dean shook his head. "Like. . .where did it come from? Why isn't it body switching the two hot chicks? I mean, really, Sam?"

"Okay, fine, Sam agreed. "There's something else going on. So why exactly are we going back to the motel?"

"Orders!" Dean said, lifting his hands from the wheel to clap them together quickly. "Cas, you're on vessel duty. Find yourself a new meat-suit. Bobby, research – you've got to figure out who's new in town, any dirt on the two hotties."

"you and I?" Sam asked.

"We're taking a nap," Dean said with a bright grin. "So I can get back into myself, and you into you."

Two hours later Dean was delightedly preening in front of the mirror as Sam rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

"All right then!" Dean said with a final pat. He turned to look at Sam, who finally LOOKED like Sam again. "Let's hit the bar. You get Rose, I'll get Eliza and we'll figure out this whole Tony, mysterious amulet thing."

Sam knew better than to argue with his brother when he got like this – in Hunting mode, the same as Dad used to get. Sam kind of wished he'd known that, back when the whole family had been together. . .when Dad had still been alive. Well. He knew better now.

The Impala sped down the roads, faster than Sam would have liked, but that was why he wasn't allowed behind the wheel. They pulled up in front of the bar with a screech. "Good thing those girls work pretty much all the time, huh?" Dean asked with a grin. Sam sighed.

"Yeah," he said. "I guess so. Dean. . ."

"No chick flicks!" his brother ordered immediately. Sam smiled, wan, drawn, small.

"No. Just a question." He took a breath as his brother just stared at him. "What are we going to do about Bobby? He can't just stay in Castiel's body. He doesn't have the right."

"I know," Dean said. "We'll figure it out. One thing at a time, okay?" Quick clap to the shoulder and they were out, walking up to the bar.

Sam was glad that his brother had assigned him Rose, the smaller, less aggressive of the two girls. To tell the truth, Eliza freaked him out. There was nothing natural about the girl, from her ink-black tresses, to the bright red lips, to the . . .enhanced. . .portions of her anatomy. She almost looked like a supernatural creature. Rose though. . .Rose he could handle.

But of course it was Eliza who sauntered over, a cat on the prowl, her eyes lit up at the sight of them. She instantly sidled up next to Sam, nearly purring in her satisfaction. "Hey, big boy, what took you so long to get back here?"

"Um. . .I don't. . .excuse me. . ." Sam stammered, as she pressed her body against him. "I just have to . . .um. . .bathroom. . ." his brother laughed behind him as he darted away.

He'd forgotten about Dean's behavior in his body. Which of course was what the bartender remembered. He splashed some water on his face, glad to feel his face again, his bones, his skin. He'd never felt right in Dean's skin, and while his brother had seemed to enjoy the new experience, he'd just been waiting for a cure.

"Okay, Sam," he said. "Just a quick interview, nothing more. Find out where she got that amulet. Track the sucker down. Take it out. Business as usual."

Out in the bar, he saw that it was, indeed, business as usual. Dean was already lounging in one of the few booths, his arm stretched across Eliza, who seemed really nonchalant about brother-switching. Rose was behind the bar, wiping out pint mugs.

"Hi," Sam said, sliding onto one of the barstools. "Just a water, thanks. It's a little too early for me."

"No problem," Rose said. She had a nice smile. Open and honest. She passed a glass across to him, and then resumed her wiping.

"So we decided that my friend's wife would really love that amulet," Sam said, after taking a drink. The air behind him rumbled with Dean's laughter. "We were just wondering where you got it."

"This?" Rose pulled it out from beneath her blouse, began running the stone across her fingers. "I. . .I got it from a friend."

"Oh," Sam nodded, winced at what he knew he was going to say next. "I don't suppose. . .she works here? Or comes here often? We'd really love to find where we can buy one."

"He," Rose said. Her gaze was turned inward now, a frown across her face. "I don't know. . ."

"I understand," Sam said. "It's just. . .it's their fiftieth anniversary, so. . ."

Rose leaned forward, glanced over at Dean, or maybe Eliza, and closed her eyes for a moment. "Don't tell her, okay," she whispered. Sam nodded. "Tony gave it to me."

"Who's Tony?" Sam asked blankly. He tried to remember. . .could only come up with that weird time Eliza had dashed to the bathroom and come back dressed like a fifty year old homeless woman.

"Oh," he said.

"Right," Rose said. "He's been trying. . .but he's kind of a sleaze, and I could never do that to Eliza anyway. . .but I really liked the necklace, so. . ."

"No, no, don't worry about it," Sam assured her. He finished his water. "Thanks anyway. I understand."

Rose smiled at him, instantly took the glass, and began rinsing it. Sam strolled over to his brother.

"Dean," he said. "Come on. Time to go."

Dean smiled, stretched languously, and whispered something in the girls' ear. She giggled, nodded.

"No problem, tiger," she purred.

"Dude," Sam said in disapproval as they headed back to the Impala. "Gross."

"Jealous?" Dean asked.

"Never mind," Sam rolled his eyes. "She got the amulet from Tony."

"Tony?" Dean shook his head. "Eliza's monster of a boyfriend?" Sam nodded. Dean pursed his lips. "Huh," he said. "That figures."

"Stop by the library?" Sam asked. Dean shook his head.

"Why bother? The guy's some kind of a trucker. . .we'll just look him up in the phonebook."

"With no last name?" Sam asked. Dean grinned at that.

"Don't worry about no last name," he said, nodding his head. "I might not have learned about the amulet, but trust me, I am dialed in to the best source for Tony research."

"Again," Sam said. "Gross."

Castiel was waiting for them in the motel when they arrived. Sam instantly headed for the phone book to look up Tony's address.

"No luck?" Dean asked.

"Vessels are very difficult to come by," Castiel said. "It can take years, decades, centuries even to find a proper vessel. Michael has not materialized King David."

"I'm sorry, Cas," Dean said. There it was. Sam pointed his finger at it, ripped out the page, and grabbed his brothers' arm.

"Come on, Dean, stake-out," he said. Castiel watched them leave, still trapped in the wheelchair. Sam felt a little badly, as he could almost feel the angel's eyes followed him.

* * * * *

Dean was bored, and tired, and more than a little cranky. "Coffee!" he barked at his brother.

"It's gone, Dean, just like the last time you asked, just like the next time," Sam said wearily.

"This is a waste of time." Dean closed his eyes, leaned back a bit, crossed his arms. "I told you. Dude's a trucker, he's not supposed to be back until tomorrow morning. Why are we still here?"

"Fine," Sam said. Dean opened one eye. Seriously? His stick up the ass brother, finally agreeing to something. Sam was sulking, sure enough, but he didn't give any other resistance when Dean turned on the engine and started turning away from the house.

"Sammy? You okay?"

"Sam," his brother said. "Yeah, I'm fine, Dean, just tired."

"Just tired?"

"And confused," Sam admitted. "I mean. . .if Lucifer wanted our places changed, if he thought he had more chance of convincing you to say yes, then why didn't he try? We were switched up for more than two days."

Dean shrugged. "Maybe he didn't know."

"The only way he didn't know was if _he_ didn't do it," Sam sighed. "I don't know, Dean, the pieces just aren't fitting together. "

"Maybe there aren't any pieces," Dean said. "Maybe it was just blind chance. A regular case."

"Yeah," Sam stared out the window. "Maybe."

Bobby was already laid out across one of the bed when they returned, his snores bouncing against the walls.

"Rock, papers, scissors?" Sam asked. Dean glared at him, knowing exactly where it was going.

"Screw you," he said with a sneer. His prissant of a brother cockily hopped into the open bed, threw back the covers, and was somehow, amazingly, asleep in mere minutes. Dean groaned as he maneuvered himself on the couch. He was getting way too old for this. He turned to look at Cas, still stranded in the wheelchair.

"Oh, sorry, Cas," he said, something finally occurring to him. "Now that you're in Bobby's body, do you need. . ."

"No," Castiel said shortly. "I still do not need to sleep. That much of my power remains."

Oh. Dean rolled onto his back, stared up at the ceiling. "Do you think. . .Cas, even if Sam and I never say yes. . .do you think we have a chance of winning this thing?"

A long pause. Too long. Dean rolled over on his side to look at the angel. Weird to think of Bobby as an angel, with the trucker hat still on his forehead, and the salt and pepper beard still obscuring his features. Somehow, despite the change in hue, they were still Cas' eyes.

"If we find God, then yes," Cas said finally. "We can win."

"Yeah, hot luck with that," Dean snorted. "There's about fifty million old men with beards floating around this planet. How you're going to find God if he's not on a tortilla chip beats me."

"I already told you," Cas said, his voice a little exasperated.

"You checked the tortilla, I know," Dean said. "Point still stands."

Another pause. Another beat.

"God doesn't look old," Cas said finally. Dean perked up a little. This might actually be interesting.

"No?" he asked.

"No." Castiel said. Dean waited for the rest, but as per usual, the angel needed prompting.

"So what does he look like?"

"He looks different to everyone," Cas said. "Everybody perceives beauty differently, and God must always be beautiful."

Dean thought. Huh. That made sense. "So what did he look like to you? You know, last time you saw the old man?"

Castiel averted his gaze. "It was a long time ago. He might look differently to me now."

"Come on!" Dean leaned forward eagerly, any chance to catch a shred of humanity in the angel an interesting change. "What did he look like? Let me guess. . .green eyes, red hair, a body to kill for. . ."

Castiel shook his head. "No."

"So what?"

Finally the gaze was back on him, and for the first time Dean was glad that Castiel had lost the use of his legs, because he was quite certain that otherwise the angel would be in his face, their noses nearly touching, and he'd be scrunching as far back on the couch as possible.

"He looked like you," Castiel said.

Awkward.

Dean turned to face the back of the couch, not wanting to hurt the angel's feelings. "Dude, I did not need to hear that."

"I am aware of your feelings on the matter," Castiel said, not sounding at all upset.

"Than next time, just say, 'Dean, you so do not want to hear that.'"

"Very well."

"So what are you going to do for the rest of the night, while we all get some shut-eye."

Pause. Beat.

"Dean, you so do not want to hear that."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut. Okay then. Fair enough.


	6. Chapter 6

"That's the plan??" Dean shook his head in disbelief, before shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth. "Seriously? Just walk into the bar and wait for Tony the Truck to come in?"

"Look, Dean, you're the one who doesn't want to stake out the house," Sam said. "You're the one who told us that the first thing he'll do upon getting back is go to the bar. So yes, that's the plan."

"I screwed his girlfriend," Dean pointed out. "Dude's not going to be happy to see me."  
"How would he even know?" Sam asks in exasperation.

"Urm. . ." Dean practically buried his face in the eggs. "There were videos. . ."

* * * * *

"What are you waiting for?" Rose asked. Eliza kept checking her make-up in the mirror, then adjusting her denim shirt, then pulling her hair down, then up. It was enough to drive anyone crazy.

"I haven't decided yet," she said. It was true. She really hadn't. She'd decided that her heart would belong to whoever walked in the door first. If it was Tony, she had to be prepared to be "just at work, where she would never even dream of flirting with the clients." If it was Dean. . .Sam. . .whatever the fuck his name was. . . she wanted to be. . .well, smoking hot would be about right.

The door swung open. Eliza peeked up. And in walk. . .Tony. Oh well. He'd do.

"Tony, darling!" she said, running to him and throwing her arms around his neck. "I missed you so much!"

"Whatever," he said. "Get me a beer."

And, just as she turned to do that, the door opened again. And in walked her other beau. Shit.

"Hello," it was Sam who spoke first. He walked straight up to Tony, one hand out-reached.

"Demon!" the geezer yelled, and Sam turned to look at him. In that moment, about a thousand things happened. Eliza was only sure of one. Tony's eyes turned black. Jet black. She screamed, dropped the mug she'd just picked up. The shattering brought her back to earth, a little – or the sliver of glass that made its way into her leg did.

Dean had, in her frantic dissociation with reality, somehow gotten behind Tony, and had a knife pressed to his neck.

"What's with the amulet?" he asked.

Eliza licked her lips. Tony weighed 300 pounds, sopping wet. Dean couldn't be over 200. Tony, apparently, realized this as well. He reached behind him with one hand and _threw_ Dean across the room. He hit the back wall with a resounding crash and slithered to the ground. Eliza tried to scream again, but her throat was dry.

Tony lifted his gaze again, threw out two hands, and Sam and BlueEyes went flying back the way Dean had. . .only the freaky thing was. . .Tony hadn't even touched them. Eliza decided that maybe instead of screaming she should hide. She ducked down below the bar, not surprised to see Rose already there, shaking.

"Castiel," she could still hear Tony, his thick, gravelly voice. She closed her eyes tightly, grabbed her knees.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven," she whispered frantically.

"What is this? No powers? No angel mojo?"

"hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come,"

Tony laughed. "What? Did Daddy cut you off?"

"Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven"

"And a wheelchair! Or, that is just rich, isn't it, Castiel?"

"Give us this day our daily bread"

"A wingless, legless, angel." She could hear the slight rasp of the wheelchair being pushed backward. She didn't know who was pushing it though. . .the geezer, or Tony.

"Don't touch him, you black-eyed bastard!" Dean's voice now, and Eliza couldn't help but slither around the bar, trying to see what was going on. Rose grasped her ankle, shook her head. No, no. Eliza just kept whispering her prayer.

"Forgive us our trespasses. . ."

Dean was lurching forward, one arm wrapped around his ribs, the other holding out a knife.

"Oh, how touching," Tony sneered. "Look at that, Cas. Your little buddy thinks he's gonna waste me." He paused for a moment. Eliza had snuck out far enough that she could now see Tony's face. It was creased up, seeming lost in thought, a look that Eliza had _never_ seen on her Tony's face. "Oh, wait a moment, now. . .I do think I heard about this on the news."

Dean kept lurching forward, stumbling into tables, his knees nearly buckling beneath him. Tony stared at him. "Castiel, the renegade angel, and his little bitch, who is destined to become Michael's vessel. Oh, won't the boss be pleased if I waste the two of you."

"Let go of Cas," Dean ordered, and he was almost at Tony now. Eliza had run out of bar to hide behind. She scrambled forward until she was halfhidden beneath one of the table scattered throughout the bar. She peered between barstools just in time to see Dean's feet lifted off the ground. Confused, she moved forward, just a tiny bit, prayin that nobody was noticing her.

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. . ."

Tony was standing, feet planted wide apart, one bulky arm stretched straight ahead of him, Dean's neck clutched in his meaty hands. Dean jerked once, twice, dropped the knife and brought his hands up to his neck.

"Dean!" The geezer moved forward, but Tony just snapped his fingers and the wheelchair spun around before flipping over. The man practically flew out of it, landing with a fierce 'oomph' just a few yards away from Eliza's face.

"Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. . ."

"Dean!" It was the brother, now, Sam, the tall one. He moved quicker than Dean had, sprinting toward his brother. Tony lifted his free hand.

"Calm down there, boy," Tony drawled. "Can't touch the merchandise, boss would get angry." Sam froze in midstep.

"Eliza, listen, please," the old man said.

"Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit"

"You know the knife that Dean dropped," he said. "You need to grab it, and stab the demon. Stab him anywhere. It doesn't have to be in the heart."

"I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth"

"You're scared, I understand," the old man said. "I will distract him. He may harm you. But if you do nothing, I promise you that you will die."

Eliza nodded her head.

"Okay," she whispered.

"Okay," the old man said.

He closed his eyes, let out a long breath, and the room suddenly lit up into a bright light. Eliza screamed as a piercing noise pounded into her head, searing her brain, ripping everything apart.

_Stab the demon_

The old man's voice somehow, miraculously, threaded its way through her consciousness. She opened her eyes, though she could barely see in the blinding white light. Just shapes. She thought maybe everything was getting clearer. She thought that maybe the pain in her head was lessening.

She could definitely see the knife. She crept forward, one agonizing move at a time. Was this the distraction? She glanced back at the old man. He looked dead. She took a deep breath, inched forward another step.

Dean was slumped over in Tony's grasp, no longer struggling. His face was pale, though. . .pale pale. Tony was lurching around, back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs. She couldn't hear a thing. She leaned forward, grasped the knife, but she couldn't. . .what was she supposed to do next. . .it was awfully heavy. . .

_Stab the demon_

As if. She couldn't even kill the spiders in the bathroom, had to scream at Rose to get them. Rose. Where was she? Was she okay

_Stab the demon_

This time it was the screaming noise that yelled at her, and without a thought she lurched forward, compelled by the pain in her mind, and stabbed the knife deep into Tony's foot.

The white light disappeared. The screaming noise ended. The ground lurched beside her, a thudding sound, and she knew that Tony had finally dropped Dean. She wondered if he was still alive.

"You bitch!" Tonys voice, and then his hand was in her hair, yanking her up. Frightening bolts of electricity ran along his arms, almost as though they were coming from beneath his skin. He grabbed the knife from his foot as he straightened up, hands still knotted in her hair. It hurt. She wondered if he was going to scalp her.

"B-bitch," Tony said. He stumbled a little, yanked her with him. And then. . .then. . .

She didn't know. His eyes rolled up and he fell to the ground. She remained standing for a moment. . .just a moment. . .but something was wrong, very wrong. Everything was too fuzzy. . .everything hurt too much. . .she glanced down. The knife, that she'd just used to pin her ex-boyfriend to the ground, was sticking out of her stomach. Shit. She fell to the ground.

She was lying on the ground, still, turned on her side, when BlueEyes and Sam rushed by. Sam knelt beside Dean, feeling for a pulse, while BlueEyes headed to the old man.

"I'm fine. . .fine. . ." Dean rasped, and she was really glad that he was still alive. He was really. . .really hot. . .everything was getting a bit dim now, though, and Eliza was really, really confused. . .ouch. . .

"Cas. . .Cas. . ." apparently Dean couldn't stand, for he was crawling over to the old man on hands and knees.

BlueEyes abandoned the old man, and kneeled in front of her. She stared at him. He was so pretty. . .she reached out a hand to touch his face. He ignored her, grasping the knife around her belly. "Sam!" he bellowed. "Shirt!"

A moment later she could feel it sliding out of her. IT hurt. . .no it didn't. . .it already hurt. . .she gasped. There was something in her throat. She was choking. . .

"Cas, wake up, man. Cas, come on, please. . ."

"Hold on there, honey," BlueEyes said. That was all she could see of him, now. Those startling blue eyes. . .everything else was so fuzzy. . ."Sam! Call the hospital!"

"Dialing. . ."

"Dammit, Cas!"

"Hold on, sweetie. . .hold on. . ."

_Those prayers you said earlier. Did you believe them_?

"Of course I did. . ." she murmuered, the words tickling. She coughed, felt something dislodge inside her.

_You believe in God. Really and Truly_.

"Of course." She could barely get the words out. BlueEyes brushed a hand against her forehead.

"Shh. . .dont' talk. You brave girl. You brave, brave child."

_You need not speak aloud. I can hear you. Do you believe in angels?_

I don't know.

_My name is Castiel. I was once an angel of the lord._

Oh. I'm going to Hell, aren't I.

_You might. I do not know these things._

I'm going to Hell. I swear, and I drink too much, I skip chuch, and I've had way too much sex to ever be allowed into Heaven.

"Come on, girl, wake up there. . .wake up. . ."

"Hi, there's been an accident.. Rodney's bar, just off the interstate"

"Damn angel. What the fuck are we supposed to do without you? Where are we supposed to go?"

"Open your eyes for me, sweetie. Just open up those eyes.

Blue, blue, blue, everything was just blue. . .

_You have another choice_.

Something other than Hell? I'll take it.

_It will not be pleasant. It will last a long time._

Eternity?

_Not that long._

Then I'll do it.

_I am an angel. You saw what happens when I walk on earth in my true form._

I said I'll do it.

_I need a vessel. I will take over your consciousness. You will not die._

Will it hurt?

_It might_.

For eternity?

_No_.

I'll do it.

_You're saing yes?_

It's a good deed, right? I'll go to heaven when you're done?

_Yes. I promise you. You have a clean soul._

Then Yes. I'm saying yes.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: And. . .the end!!! And. . .don't hate me for the romance. I can't help it! It's still canon. . .urm. . .sort of.**

**Thank you, the few, the faithful, the reviewers! And those of you who keep coming back but never review. . .shame on you! How am I to know whether this is appreciated? Not that I. . .ah-hem. . .ever review myself –heh, heh, heh. . .**

**Anyway. . .enjoy!**

Things had somehow gone wrong. Really, really, wrong. And the shitty thing was – it wasn't even a complicated case.

It was one demon. Just one. Hell, he'd handled more than that on his own. And it wasn't like it was Alistair. . .it wasn't even high-ranking. Just one damn demon.

But without the Colt, with only the knife. . .without a Devil's Trap, or holy water. . .why the hell hadn't they been prepared? That was the one thing Dean couldn't get over. They never went anywhere unprepared. Why this time? Why this day?

Because everything was f'ed up. Because they thought he was just a regular guy. Because he was so worried about Cas being stuck in a wheelchair, and Sam was trying to babysit Bobby, and it just seemed to simple. . .

He punched the body sitting in front of him. Bobby's body, Castiel's body, who even knew anymore. It wasn't going to help. There was no pulse. Cas had somehow. . .sacrficed himself. . .relinguished a vessel, that there was no way to get back inside of.

One tear fell down his cheek. That was it. Enough for now, there was still a case, still living people to take care of. He turned around. Sam was on the phone, probably talking to the ambulance. Bobby was leaning over Eliza, his arms red to the elbows.

"How is she?" Dean asked, scrubbing at his face. Bobby shook his head.

"Alive," he said. "Barely. I doubt she'll –"

He cut off as the girls' head jerked back, her eyes flew open, for one moment pulsing with pure white light. Dean caught his breath. What the –

She settled back then. All three men were staring at the body, even Sam, who seemed to have forgotten the phone he clutched in his hands. A voice squawked at him indignantly, small and tinny from the inside of the phone.

Eliza sat up, slowly, very controlled. She touched her stomach, smiled, and turned again.

"Hello, Dean," she said, her eyes finding his first.

"Hey," he said uncertainly. "Uh. . .maybe you shouldn't be sitting up right now. Sam's called an ambulance, you should probably get checked out."

The girl shook her head, and slowly stood up. She stretched, standing on tiptoes, actually watched her arms as the lifted over her head. Her forehead crinkled. Weird, Dean thought. He hadn't been aware that Eliza was actually capable of real thoughts. She turned back to him, her head cocked like a befuddled puppy.

"This feels. . .strange," she said. Dean was pretty sure that his jaw was actually touching the ground. Because that ramrod straight posture. . .the cock of the head. . .the freakin' wrinkles in her forehead.

"What's going on?" Sam asked. Apparently he'd decided to ignore the 911 call, as he snapped the cell phone closed.

The girl walked straight over to Dean, too close, as always, stared him intensely in the eyes. "It is me, Dean. Do you not recognize me?"

"Cas, you bastard," Dean choked, reached out, and clutched the angel close.

"Good," Bobby said gruffly. "Guess that means that nobody's gonna keep pestering me about giving up this body."

"The amulet!" Sam gasped.

"Still not trading," Bobby said obstinately. "I'd rather be back in the wheelchair than become a girl."

"No!" Sam said. "The amulet. . .where is it?"

"Rose. . ." Dean pushed himself back from Cas' face, peered into the dark eyes. "Where's Rose?"

"I do not know," Cas said. "I was out here with you."

Dean glanced at Sam. They apparently had the same thought together, for they darted toward the bar. It was empty. No sign that anyone had been there.

"Strange," Bobby muttered. "I could have sworn both girls were here when we walked in."

Sam shook his head. "We were so stupid. . .she said that Tony gave her the amulet, and we just assumed. . ." he turned to look at Dean. "We have to find that girl," he said urgently. Dean didn't disagree.

Three hours later, however, they still came up with nothing. Zip, zero, zilch. No sign of Rose, or the amulet. Disheartened, they returned to the motel.

"No fair calling the first bed," Dean yelled as they entered. "Come on, Bobby, it's not like you're even old anymore!"

"Still older than you chuckleheads," Bobby retorted. "Besides. You need a shower. All three of you."

Dean couldn't argue with that. He could have argued that Bobby needed a shower, too, but there was obviously no point in that argument, as the man was already stretched out across the bed. It was weird, looking down and seeing what looked like Cas, sleeping. Dean shook his head.

"You want the first shower?" Sam asked.

"Go ahead, you can have it," Dean said. He was resigned to sleeping on the couch, anyway. He sat on it while Sam headed into the shower. It wasn't until he heard water running that he dared to turn and look at the angel.

If it was weird seeing Bobby in a different body, it was even weirder looking at this girl that he'd seen in _all_ her glory, and making himself believe that the body now housed his very own, personal, holy tax accountant.

"So. . .uh. . .what's it like?" he asked, curious.

"What is what like?" Cas asked. He. . .she. . .sat down beside Dean. Too close. Nothing had changed. Except that Dean was enjoying the closeness a little more than usual. Which was . . .not so good.

"You know," Dean said, trying to scooch away without seeming rude. Castiel didn't seem to notice. "Being a chick."

"Oh," Castiel cocked his head. "It is strange. Eliza is not as strong as Jimmy was. I can feel that she is weaker. But she is also more flexible. Look."

Castiel leaned down, his torso even with his legs, touched his toes. The action pulled his shirt forward, exposing the small of his back, the small butterfly tattoo flying across the milky white skin. Dean licked his lips.

"Yeah, Cas, very impressive."

"Thank you," Castiel straightened back up, turned to look at Dean. "Eliza is also more. . .restless. . .than Jimmy. Her body wants things that his did not."

"Oh yeah?" Dean tried to be nonchalant. "Like what?"

Castiel paused for a moment.

"Dean, you so do not want to hear that."

The water clicked off, and Dean jumped to his feet, anything to get away form the angel. He was standing, waiting at the door when Sam walked out, clad only in a towel. "Dude, calm down there," Sam said, edging aside so that Dean could get in.

"Yeah, sorry, sure. . ." Dean said, darting in and turning the water on. Cold. Cold shower. Shit. After what they'd been through, he wanted a nice warm shower, to wash out the aches in his body. But. . .urm. . .no. Cold.

He stayed in longer than he probably should have. He wondered if Castiel had to shower. He'd never seen the angel shower before. Then again, he'd never spent this much time with the angel around, either. He usually flitted off. When he walked back outside, however, he saw Cas still seated, perfectly still, on the bed.

"Um. . .you gonna spend the night here?" he asked.

Cas stood, met his eyes squarely. "You know how I spend my nights," he said. "It seems foolish to leave now, only to return in moments. And this vessel needs a shower."

When the water was running again, Dean turned to his brother, now firmly ensconced under the motel coverlet.

"It's weird, right?" Dean asked, sticking out his thumb and pointing it toward the shower. "Cas. Is he still he, or should we call him she?"

Sam shook his head. "You know what's weird. . .that he's still here."

"I know!" Dean leaned forward. "Apparently he's always here at night."

Sam had no answer to that. "What are we going to do about this amulet?"

"I don't know," Dean said. "Though. . .maybe we're wrong about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe. . .maybe it wasn't meant to be a bad thing," Dean said. "I mean, when you look at it, we're kind of better off now."

Sam stared at him. "Oh my God."

"What?" Dean bristled, sat back. "I make a good point. Cas obviously has more of his mojo back, and Sam, Bobby can walk again. Just look how happy he is. And you and me. . .unscathed." Well, except the neck, but whatever. He'd had worse. Sam, meanwhile, was looking at him with a very strange expression on his face.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay what?" Dean asked. "I know that voice. Okay, what, Sam?"

A small smile wound its way across his brother's face. "Just. . .I mean. . .you know Cas has always had an angel crush on you. Now. . .well. . .you can tap that."

"Gross!" Dean threw his pillow at his brother. The water in the shower turned off.

* * * * *

They thought he was asleep, and Sam wasn't about to tell them that sleep was elusive that night. Though it was weird, listening to them. Regardless of what he'd said earlier, he was not comfortable, at all, with the idea of a prospective relationship between his brother and the angel. Not because he'd met Cas as a man. . .though, maybe that was part of it. Not really, though. Dean, after all, was as straight as a man could be. It was just. . .

Well, jealousy, maybe. No, jealousy definitely, Sam realized. He'd had a relationship—well, a not-relationship – with Ruby, and Dean had never accepted that. Ruby wasn't human. Didn't want Sam for Sam.

And, to be honest, he didn't want to lose his brother. Not when it had been so hard to get him back in the first place.

Besides, it wasn't like there was anything he could do now. They'd know he was eavesdropping.

"You just going to stand there all night?"

"I always do."

"Well. . .don't."

A long pause, long enough that Sam thought that maybe Cas had left. That would be good. It would put things back to normal. Or as normal as they could be, with Bobby inhabiting a trenchcoat-wearing, blue-eyed man, and Cas as a woman.

Who, Sam had to admit, had looked pretty hot after the shower. Cas had taken out whatever rag had been inhabiting the girl's head – the hair was still too black to be real, but at least it looked healthy, now, shoulder length, not down to her ass. And without the overdone make-up she actually looked kind of cute. Freckles. Boobs were still too big.

"I mean. . .why don't you sleep for once. I can keep watch."

"I don't need sleep."

"I know. But. . .don't you ever rest? Here, try it. Lie down."

The sound of rustling. Sam was terrified. He peeked one eyelid open, couldn't help but sigh in relief when he saw that his brother was now standing, that Cas was alone on the couch.

"I don't like this."

"Why not?"

"It doesn't feel safe."

"I'm right here. Go ahead. Close your eyes. If anyone's earned it today, you have."

Another pause. Sam was getting drowsy now. Clearly he'd been panicking. His brother might be a sleazebag, but even he wouldn't take advantage of a lovesick angel. Ponies, prancing in the woods. . .

"Still. Don't feel safe."

Rustling again. Luckily, Sam thought, the prancing ponies were taking over, and sleep was dragging him away. Didn't look at the rustling. DIdn't have to.

"How about now?"

**Note: Open ending. Make of it what you will. Ha. Somebody told me to write a sequel. I don't know what a sequel would be. Just more cases? Only with new-and-improved SuperHotBlueEyedBobby and SkantasticCas? Poor Sam. . .I'm not sure he would approve of that idea.**


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